Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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