At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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