Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She's JV to your varsity
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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