I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
