please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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