that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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