i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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