Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
