just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
