Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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