there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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