Reggie can tackle my bush.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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