she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
