you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
