just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
