My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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