Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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