I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
