That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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