david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
