you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
