Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
