I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
