what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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