I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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