Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
