I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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