I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
