Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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