I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
