how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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