I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it's like iHOP with fire
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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