New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
