he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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