Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
