so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
