dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
