So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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