woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if only i could text you this smell
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
