I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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