He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
