YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Terrible idea I love it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
