I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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