i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just sucked dick on a ferry
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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