i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
