This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
