brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
