WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
