wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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