you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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