seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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