dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
